I laid in the hospital bed circling back to the question that got me there in the first place. “Why couldn’t I just be skinny like the other girls”, “Why did things have to go so far”, and “Why the hell did it have to be me?”. I remembered just…
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actions have consequences
You know that feeling when you believe you are in control but in reality, you are not? That is exactly what it is like to have an eating disorder. Eds work like parasites and latch onto you and follow everywhere you go. Unfortunately, these little parasites have voices that constantly…
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the beginning of a spiral that lasted four years
When things “spiral out of control”, they often worsen in a way that feels impossible to regain control. However, that wasn’t my experience. Ironically, as my eating disorder began to spiral, I felt a sense of control like never before. I spent every second of my day calculating how many…
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the dangerous question of why and how it disrupted my life
Growing up I always found myself questioning “why” to everything but holy crap this was ten times more amplified during the time of quarantine. During the isolation the whole world was trapped in, I succumbed to unbearable boredom and spent endless hours scrolling through social media, especially TikTok and Instagram.…